This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My legs feel like baby dolphins
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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