If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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