Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
