he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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