Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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