he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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