he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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