do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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