so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
