So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
