That's when you crack a 10am beer
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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