Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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