i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
