butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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