tonight lets celebrate not being married
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
