ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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