"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
