Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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