Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
