I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
