he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
