you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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