do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
