he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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