I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
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