i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
