you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
