she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
