Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
