Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
