I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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