i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
