yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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