Soap is not a condiment
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
