omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
