how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
