Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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