So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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