I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
