You smell like stripper and shame
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
