people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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