the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
