That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
