if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
