I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
