they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
