I'm lost and stupid without you.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
