I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
