some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
