About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
this is an emotional support booty call
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
